I’ve wanted to be a writer my entire life. Well, I guess that’s not true. There was a time when I was making pictures out of pinto beans and pretending to be a princess that I dreamed I would grow up and save animals of every kind. Being a veterinarian was the one thing I saw myself doing. Doesn’t every little kid with a pet see that in their future?
It was somewhere during middle school that my love for writing happened. Books have always been my passion. I read when others play video games, I read when some go downtown with their friends, I even read when I probably shouldn’t. I wish I’d started keeping count of all the books I read, starting when I was a kid. There’s no telling where the numbers would be at this point. Reading books and writing them are two totally different things, though. I’ve spent most of my life being on one side of books, but as I get older, the writing side becomes way more appealing. Can you imagine being the reason someone learns to love reading and the world of literature? I imagine it every day. I think longingly about someone walking into Barnes & Noble and beelining straight for MY book, the one on the end cap of an aisle marked “YA Bestsellers”. I long for the moment when I have my first editing session and my editor tells me I’m being published, after all the hard work, tears, papercuts, and long nights, this is what it all comes out to be. Most people hope for greatness in their line of work, and I guess I do, too. Really what I hope for is the opportunity to read my book aloud, in front of like-minded people that love my work, and get that reaction.. You know the one, the one that shows you it was all worth it. The one that makes it crystal clear you were meant to do this.
I imagine myself sitting at a table in many different bookstores, signing copies of my first book, and thanking my readers for taking a chance on me. But I also imagine myself never getting to this point, due to fear or laziness, or probably a little bit of both. Writing is hard. Knowing what to write is even harder. There are so many books now, and trust me, I’m not complaining. Like I mentioned before, I’m a reader at heart. I’ve read A LOT of books. I would never ask that people stop writing. It just seems that there’s so much out there, it’s hard to find a place in it all. I guess you could say that about any job, but with books, isn’t it alarmingly true? There are books about ANYthing and EVERYthing. How do you stand out? How do you make sure you climb to the place you want so desperately to be? The place you NEED to be? Setting yourself apart is one thing, but setting your writing apart is another.
I’ve made excuses for so long as to how I could never pull it off. Time, being the biggest factor. I’m a teacher. I work long hours, and I spend a lot of time working at home. Where is the time to write a novel, let alone spend time with my friends, family, husband, clean the house, cook the dinners, do the laundry, and have time for self-care, too? After my “Big Rocks” conversation, it became really clear that it’s all about how I spend my time. Am I being intentional with the time I’m given? Am I doing everything in my power to make writing a priority? Is it a “Big Rock” or is it a pebble I’m putting off? I’ve started trying to answer these questions and I think I’m getting to where I need to be. From the words of Stephen R. Covey, if it’s a Big Rock, you’ll find the time to make it so. All of this is so much easier said than done, though. It isn’t easy to put something else off that needs done to chase this astronomical dream that could or could not ever happen… But if I continue to have that attitude, it won’t ever happen, will it?
“Chase your dreams” is something you hear constantly from mentors, teachers, elders, pretty much everyone. Sometimes dreams are more attainable than others. I think “Chase your goals” is probably more accurate for me. I’ve set goals for myself my entire life, and usually I’ve achieved them. Perhaps the top two were: 1. Get a college degree, even if it almost kills me. I did that, without much help from anyone. I made it through, soul-crushingly in debt, but made it, nonetheless. I get to be a teacher and shape tomorrow’s population, and that’s pretty cool. 2. Marry my best friend. I definitely did that. ‘Nuff said. Every day I have goals I want to meet and I usually do my best to get there. The goal that’s flashing inside my brain at this very moment is, WRITE A NOVEL. GET PUBLISHED. BECOME A BESTSELLER. I guess those are three different goals, but they go hand-in-hand. They’re lofty, they’re dreams, but they’re attainable. Right?
Comentários