"Big Rocks"

The last couple of weeks (or month, tbh) have been super crazy. I started back to school on August 7th, and had a training on the 8-9th. When I say "training," I would usually expect eye rolls and groans, but honestly...it changed my life. The training I had was called "Leader In Me" or "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen R. Covey. If you've been through this training before, I am SO happy for you. If you haven't, look it up. Like..now. There's obviously going to be a difference in going to the actual workshop and just reading about it, but this guy wrote a book and I'm telling you - one teacher to any human being out there, YOU WILL LOVE THIS. If you have any interest in being a better person, treating people better, treating YOURSELF better, buy the book, read the book, attend a workshop, s o m e t h i n g. You won't regret it.

...okay. I'm off my soapbox, but really. This program is all about becoming a "highly effective person." That means something different for everyone, but it can all be approached in similar ways, no matter how terrible you are right now (jk, but not). It talks about how to be a better version of yourself, how to treat your friends, family, and peers better (or students, in my case), how to be more intentional with your time and life in general, and so many other things all encompassed in a two day workshop, (or a fairly short book, if you're not able to participate in an actual training). One big thing that stood out to me was using positive, proactive language. I'll talk more about this in a while. Self-help books have never really been my thing, but this is different. It's real, it's raw, and it will open up so many notions you have about yourself and others. The whole thing is based around "7 Habits" which I'll outline here:

Habit 1: Be Proactive

Habit 2: Begin With the End in Mind

Habit 3: Put First Things First

Habit 4: Think Win-Win

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

Habit 6: Synergize

Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw

You may not understand what any of this means, and honestly I didn't either, but I'm here to tell you - figure it out. I'm not going to spend my time writing out what each habit is and how to implement it into your daily routine. That's for you to do and learn for yourself! Buy the book or just download the app. I have a paid version of the app our school provided with the training, so I'm not sure what the free version looks like, but I'm sure it's awesome, too. Basically what I'm here to talk about is what has changed in my life since this training. I'm still struggling, I'm still figuring it out, and as one of my co-workers said, this is not an instant pot, this is a life-changing crock pot. It's a slow burner, meaning that it takes a while to get fully into this mindset. It doesn't happen overnight, heck it might not even happen in one year or two. It takes a while to completely shift your paradigms to fit this mindset. My biggest takeaways were more in my personal life than even my teaching career. I've had issues with friends lately that I haven't handled in the best way and I've got rocky relationships with family members I could do a better job of taking care of and mending. This mindset is helping me to do just that. I'm still stubborn and ridiculous, and find myself not in this "7 Habits" mindset I want so badly to be in. The difference is this: before I went to this workshop, I didn't realize what mindset I was in, so I continued to be hot-headed, not care what other people were going through, and all around stubborn as hell. Post-7 Habits training, I now say to myself when I'm being that stubborn woman, "That wasn't a very '7 Habits' way of thinking or reacting." In my opinion, this is how it starts. You notice when you aren't in the right mindset and you take small steps to change it. It's not a race, it's a relay. You have to continue to catch yourself and know what steps you need to take. OKAY. Let me tell you some changes I've made, and you can make up your mind for yourself. TBH, if you aren't into this...we can't be friends. JUST KIDDING. That wasn't a very '7 Habits' way of thinking, Kayla... But for real, get on board. ;)

Things I've Changed...or tried to, anyway:

1. Taking time for myself - planning intentional time to do a face mask, read a book for pleasure (I do this all the time anyway, but being more intentional about it), take a bath, watch one episode of a show just for me, among others. Self-care isn't black and white. Whatever works for you.

2. Planning my days - Being more intentional about planning my day. I bought an hourly planner (it's a Stephen Covey thing, do it) and have tried to plan my days. I'm really bad at it so far, but remember, it's a crock pot! I'm trying, and I notice myself planning more in my head. Eventually I'll get it down on paper!

3. Taking time for my "Big Rocks" first - These are the 5-7 most important things in your life for any given day, week, month, etc. During the training, mine were mostly about my husband, friends, teaching, dogs, and self-care. Something really eye-opening was when our presenter asked if our weekly calendars represented what we said were our "Big Rocks." It seems silly, because why would I put 'Dinner with my Husband or Friends' in my planner? Because when you put it in your planner, it means it is more likely to happen...for most. But really the point is that you take care of those "Big Rocks" first, and the "little pebbles" later. I've made a conscious effort to take care of my big things first and let the little things fall where they may. This really helped while I was getting my classroom ready. The big things got done, and some of the little things STILL aren't done. But THAT IS OKAY.

4. Taking time to write - This one was one of my big rocks, one of my life goals, pretty much part of everything I wrote in this training manual thing. I tell myself, and everyone, that I plan on being an author one day. Really sooner rather than later, but I don't show that in my actual planning or daily life. I'd love to be an author, but I'm putting in no effort to be a writer. I've officially changed that. Tonight, I sat and wrote out ideas for my first novel. I came up with a bunch of brainstorming about the characters, figured out where I wanted the setting to be and what time of year-ish, and wrote out some possible titles. I pretty much have the story line and setting down, which is a big deal. All it took was me setting aside INTENTIONAL time to do so. And I only worked for about an hour. I made my BIG ROCK, a REAL big rock. This was a big part of our training.

5. I started using proactive language; with my students, friends, husband, and family. Instead of, "I have to..." I started saying, "I choose to..." or "I get to..." when I felt like I had to get something done that I wasn't really looking forward to or felt I didn't have time for. "I choose to spend time making my classroom look great because it makes me happy." "I get to plan for my week because it will help my anxiety when students come back to school." These are just a couple of examples. This seems like an easy fix to make, but it's actually really hard. I caught myself talking to a student today and noticed myself getting frustrated because HE was frustrated. Instead of choosing to get angry and argue, I tried to understand and use this proactive language to help him. I really think it helped. I was proud of myself for catching it mid-sentence and shifting my paradigm (this is a big deal in 7 Habits, too. Paradigms are the way we see everything in the world.)

6. Speaking of..I've tried 'Shifting My Paradigms' - This was how they started our training. Shifting your paradigms basically means changing the way you look at the world. Someone cut you off getting onto the freeway? Instead of cussing them or flipping them the bird (we all do it, don't lie), maybe think about how they are running late to a promotional meeting or someone they love is sick, in an emergency, or hurt in some way. As busy people, we forget that we aren't the only ones in the world with crap on our minds. We all have our stuff. Keeping that in your mind will really help with those paradigm shifts.

7. I've set aside time to clean and organize. - No, I'm not perfect. Yes, my closet is an actual disaster of clean clothes baskets filled with probably-slightly-definitely dirty clothes. BUT remember, I said I set aside time, not that I'm a neat freak miraculously over night. When I get home, I don't just ignore the cup on the counter or the bowl in the sink (sometimes, ya just have to...ya know?). I try to make a conscious effort to take care of those little things so they don't add up and make it an all day cleaning affair on the weekends. My closet's a different story, y'all. Let it go. What I'm saying is... I tell myself how much time I need to do the things that need done (dishes, sweeping, mopping, laundry, organizing, cleaning up after the dogs, etc.), and I use that time very intently. After that time is up, I can take time for myself. As I said before, this is a crock pot we're talking about and it takes a while. I'm struggling to keep on track, but I'm trying. And that's all that matters.

This might all seem stupid to you, and you may never think about Stephen Covey or these so-called habits I'm talking about again. That's cool. But maybe, juuuuust maybe, you will. Maybe you'll be running to work one day, and someone runs into you, and you'll think, "They're in a hurry, too, no big deal." instead of, "What a jerk, I was running late and they just made it worse!" Maybe, juuuuust maybe, you'll be more intentional with your time next time you have a to-do list a mile long. Or maybe not.

This All-In-7-Habits-Lifer hopes you do, though. It's a life change, hell, it's a world change. But I think it's worth it. I think it's really, really important. Can you imagine what our world would look like if we all thought and lived our lives just a TINY bit more effectively? Stephen Covey could imagine it, and now...so do I.

I know this was a long one, but I'm not sorry! Hopefully you'll read this and think about yourself, how you could change, get better, become more effective as a citizen, friend, sibling, kid, whatever. If you do, good. for. you. These changes are needed. This world needs it.

-K <3